What kind of fool am I?

In simpler days a young lady would get her intended to marry her by going off birth control pills and getting pregnant.(A bunny trap) Her dad would often help by hastily arranging a wedding without a many guests - a shotgun wedding.
Life is so much more complicated now. How does a girl actually rope in a reluctant groom in the current era?

Pretending to be an utterly faithful nymphomaniac who loves sports is a good start...

You mean that my wife (never caught being unfaithful), a woman not unenthusiastic in the bedroom department, for who each year I have to pay for a football season-ticket and listen to swearing/going into depression when the team loses - is pretending?
bloody hell! she's a much better actress than I thought and I'm bloody annoyed at all those football-related expenses she has put me to - for goodness sake, I even got hold of FA Cup-Final tickets for her when I was out of work. Bitch!
if she doesn't orgasm the next time we watch footy - I'll know you were right. the scales have dropped from my eyes.

I am soo annoyed.

Lewis - I had no idea you were such a romantic fool!!!

When I came in from the theatre last night, she was watching a football DVD - do you think the little minx might have been toying with me?

Someone's definitely toying with someone!

She made me late for work - in a way that the details of which even Rude Boy would not post.

Is it really all an act?

(Mind you - rather than watch Newcastle on the tv last night - when she saw that Titus Bramble was playing and what Chelsea line-up he faced, all hopes of victory faded and she came down the pub)

She's sure got you fooled - chortle....

When ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise!